She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
