im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
