you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize