Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
