My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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