i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
should my penis look like a turkey
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
