I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.