even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished