Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?