theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize