I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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