We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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