I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
