Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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