she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
