Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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