marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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