I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
You smell like stripper and shame
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
