you didnt know i had herpes?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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