how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
