we have pet lesbian snakes
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
