he shaved USA in his pubs
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
