you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
