im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
