am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
