Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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