Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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