He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
