Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
its not stalking. its research.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
