Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize