Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize