Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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