i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
