you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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