I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
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