So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
