thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
