My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
If I die, sorry about rent.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
