Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The feeling are messing with the penis
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
