his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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