mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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