just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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