You made me cry and you don't even care
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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