He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just found puke in my bra..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize