I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
