KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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