nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
