i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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