capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
