Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
