You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
