just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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