Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
