you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
