Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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