party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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