This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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