The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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