I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
