You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
