So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
