maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
