So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
