ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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