Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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