whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
