hotel room ftw
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
