you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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