Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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