god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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