remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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